


To Say Goodbye

by The_Golden_Trashcan_TM



Category: A Crown of Candy - Fandom, Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: but there is lots of comforting, is my main jam, it's kinda sad ngl, sisters uplifting and being there for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26055700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Golden_Trashcan_TM/pseuds/The_Golden_Trashcan_TM
Summary: Ruby and Sacchrina talk about their dreams, delving into Ruby's reoccurring nightmare about Jet and her guilt about Jet's death
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	To Say Goodbye

Ruby stood in the dark attic of the lingerie shop she knew so well, her breathing shaky and hand gripping her bow. Her eyes darted back and forth, trying to find where the enemy was in the overwhelming darkness.

Something shuffled to her right and she fired blindly, hoping that her family had taken cover. There was a groan as someone fell to the ground and then there was light. Jet was on her knees, one of Ruby's poison arrows settled firmly in her chest, the locket split jaggedly in half. Ruby dropped her bow, hands covering her gasps as she looked at what she had done. The rot in Jet's stomach began to spread and she stood and pointed at Ruby, a look of venomous reproach on her face as she croaked, "First you leave me behind and now you kill me yourself?"

Ruby reached out, trying to grasp her hand and explain. _I didn't want to leave you! I wanted to stay by your side!_ But no words would come out, her throat burning with effort and when their hands finally touched, Jet began to crumble. The rot ate away at her as she stared her twin down, and said as her face began to fall, "I will never forgive you for this."

~|~

Ruby stood in the kitchen making herself a cup of hot chocolate. Havestdusk was moving in quickly and she'd never done well with the cold. She could have asked someone to give her more blankets for her room, but she didn't want to bother someone so late at night and it wasn't like she was really sleeping anyway. 

Three years had passed since the end of the war and since then she'd been gone from the castle for most it. She had stayed, of course, to help Saccharina navigate the political landscape since she hadn't grown up learning it like Ruby had. And when Saccharina had settled and the Swirler Sisters's circus came around, she had to go. She couldn't stay put in one spot for so long, her body restless for movement and wonder. They accepted her gladly, happy to have another acrobat in the troop and Ruby was thrilled to be able to bring happiness to those who found it hard to smile after the war.

And now she was back in Castle Candy, though she wasn't sure for how long. Perhaps a month. Perhaps a year. At the rate her nightmares were going it'd be closer to a month.

Still, she was happy to be back. Liam had tackled her with the warmest hug she'd had in a long time and Theo wasn't far behind. Theo was thrilled she'd made it back and demanded to know what the newly expanded Candia was like. "It's fine," she'd said. "Lots of people who were displaced by the war are making their homes there."

He looked like he wanted to ask more questions but Gooey called him away, smiling at Ruby in greeting before they left. Ruby didn't care to know what they were going to do.

Ruby had seen Cumulous many times in her travels though he never lingered for long, searching for more magic items. He smiled at her from Liam's gardens.

She hadn't had personal time with Saccharina yet, only having been back few days and helping Saccharina with her queenly duties. All the new land to account for and look over wasn't an easy task, but with Ruby having actually seen it, along with Cumulous, it was easier.

 _Still,_ she thought as she sipped her cocoa, _it would be nice to just sit and talk_.

"I knew I heard someone down here." Saccharina floated into the kitchen, a small smile on her face. "Mind if I join you?"

"I was just thinking it'd be nice to talk to you."

Saccharina chuckled as she sat across from Ruby. She snapped her fingers and the hot chocolate lost its heat becoming nearly cold enough to be frozen. "I suppose it's no coincidence we're both awake in the middle of the night."

"Can't imagine it's for fun. Can't sleep?"

She took a sip and sighed. "I know I'm safe here and no one has been able to hurt me in a long time, but the nightmares say otherwise."

"The nunnery again?"

"Kidnapped on the sea. It didn't end well for them, but it still… It's still not a pleasant memory." Saccharina eyed Ruby and she tried not to let her shoulders slouch quite so much, tried to lift her face into something resembling well rested. Saccharina didn't buy it. "Nightmares too?"

Ruby thought about lying. Saccharina already had so much to do and worry about and Ruby shouldn't add on to it. But still, she wouldn't have asked if she didn't want to know.

Ruby's hands gripped her mug. "Have you ever… Have you ever had someone you care about die, but you know that if you had done something different, they'd still be here?"

Saccharina sat for a moment, eyes drifting out the window, before she said, "When I found out my mom died, I thought maybe the stress of having me as a daughter is what caused her to become so sick. I thought maybe if I had been born differently she would still be here. That wasn't really something I had control over, but I do understand what you mean."

"When Jet was hurt, I ran. Water steel daggers are deadly to even the strongest of us. Pops barely survived the times he was stabbed. And when Jet got hurt, I didn't know what to do or how to help so I ran and left her and Liam behind." Ruby's face was hot with unshed tears and she tilted her face to the ceiling. "I left her behind and she died and if I had stayed then maybe I could have done something more and saved her. Maybe she'd still be here."

Saccharina grabbed Ruby's hand, prying her fingers away the mug that had started to crack under her grip. She placed a cool hand on Ruby's cheek and said, "Let's got for a walk."

~|~

The night air was cool against her hot face, but right now all she wanted was to crawl into bed and hope her nightmares would cease. Instead, she walked arm in arm with Saccharina through the gardens.

They weren't nearly as neat as they had been when Caramelinda was in charge of their care, but controlled chaos was more Liam's style.

Saccharina led them through a maze of different plants and trees, most of which Ruby couldn't name, until they were at the center of the garden coming upon the largest tree. It was the tree from the seed Lapin had given Liam that now bore a strong resemblance to the old rabbit.

Saccharina knelt at the base and Ruby noticed a small cloth had been placed on the ground with two half burned incense on top. Ruby knelt next to her, silently offering prayers for Lapin and Preston—though it was more from habit than true belief.

"Whenever I would start to feel overwhelmed, Liam and Theo would take me here. They would tell me about Lapin and the wishes he granted for the Sugar Plumb Fairy and how hard he tried to help you all. I never met him, but hearing about all he did and how much he had to hide to keep you all safe. It helped me put into perspective my own duties and worries." Saccharina reached out and lit the incense again, the sweet smell of peppermint, chocolate, and a hint of cinnamon filled the air between them. "What I mean is you did everything you could for Jet. You were there with her when she needed you and I'm sure she understood."

Ruby stared at the smoke as it rose, thinking back to what Liam had told her below the deck of ship after Jet's funeral. "She wanted me to tell you she loves you. And you did the right thing." Even now Ruby found that hard to believe. Hard to believe that running away had been the right decision when she hadn't been fast enough to get help. When she hadn't been skilled enough to even stop her sister, her other half, her _heart_ , from dying. But Ruby had that same thought: _Jet wouldn't have said it if she didn't mean it_. 

"It wasn't your fault Jet died." Saccharina's voice was clear and seemed to cut through the fog that plagued Ruby's mind and she let out a loud, hiccuping sob. It had been so long since she allowed herself to cry for Jet. So long since she had started moving and hadn't let herself stop. She'd always thought that if she kept moving then she'd be fine. But as she sat in the gardens with Saccharina, still for the first time in years, she let herself mourn fully the life she and Jet could have had.

Saccharina placed her arms around Ruby as she cried as loudly and openly as a child. They stayed there until the Ruby's tears dried and the Bulb began to crest the horizon. They stayed, arms wrapped around each other, as Theo lumbered through the castle and grounds searching for them. And they stayed until Liam found them curled up together, fast asleep under the leaves and branches of Lapin's tree.

Maybe now, and perhaps for the first time, Ruby could finally say goodbye.


End file.
